I had a general anaesthetic recently, and appear to have woken up in 1983.

There are 3D films being advertised, 3D glasses being given away with tabloid newspapers – even dedicated 3D televisionsbeing produced.

Not proper 3D, obviously – that’s reality. No, this is still the same old shitty faux 3D where things are either split into two colours, or polarised, or stereoscoped.

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I used to be quite into horror films. I say ‘used to’ not because I’ve grown out of it or anything, but because the genre doesn’t seem to exist any more.

When I was a nipper, you couldn’t move for horror – and I mean genuine horror, rather than just films marketed as horror (although there was a lot of that, too). There were films aplenty with atmosphere, tension and usually – but not always – a bit of gore.

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